On the Road Again
by Lady Firewing
Summary: Crazy stuff happens from New Orleans to Bayville, including misread maps, cornfield chase scenes, crab leg feasts, kids meal toys, and other insanity. Pyro and Remy are in hot water this time, so how will they survive on the roof? Semi-crack.


**So here's the second story of the day! Gotta love Easter break.**

**Before anyone asks, you do NOT need to read my previous stories in the universe to get this.**

**In my main story, The Rising, there is mentions of an insane car ride. I was asked by Seppen13 to elaborate, and with the help and suggestions of LadyAlambielKnightofNarnia (sorry, no potholes) I was able to figure a cocaine fic. Definition of that is on my profile. Think diluted crack.**

**Just in case you haven't read my other stories, some notes: Isi and Amy are best friends. Isi and Addie are sisters. Pyro flirts with Addie. Warren and Isi are dating. Rogue, Remy, Pyro, Isi, Amy, and Addie are leaving the Thieves' Guild in New Orleans right before Christmas. Rogue got mad at Remy and strapped him to the roof of the car (its complicated, you don't really need to know why). All you really need to know about my OC's powers is that Amy has a good sense of smell.**

**This fic was a long time in coming, and so thank you for being so patient, Seppen13! It's all in Amy's POV.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the comics and unless my parents bought it for me for my birthday, it's never going to be mine!**

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><p>"Bye!" Isi and I waved goodbye to Remy's family.<p>

"Chere! Remy's sorry!" He shouted from the trunk. "Let him out!"

"Not a chance, Swamp Rat." Rogue yelled back.

For about five minutes, there was peace. Then I heard Addie scream. Isi whipped her head around and glared past my head.

"Stop the car." She said in a low, dangerous voice. I turned to see Remy had managed to sneak back in the car and sit next to Addie.

"Remy LeBeau, you are so dead!" Rogue sent him a murderous look. Isi's eyes widened, and she whispered something in Rogue's ear. They both grinned evilly, and I knew that it would not end well for Remy. The car pulled over to the shoulder of the road and stopped.

Before Remy could react (an incredible feat in and of itself, since the guy has insane reflexes), the two females managed to turn around and reach the back of the car. They caught him (don't ask me how they did it, I had my eyes shut at this point).

When I looked back up, I poked my head out the window to see Remy being tied to the roof with rope. Addie was laughing her head off and I forget what Pyro was doing. It must have been something that annoyed Addie, since a moment later she wasn't laughing any more. Grabbing a hold of Pyro, she dragged him out of the car to the roof.

"Because I don't feel like dealing with the moron for another twenty hours, tie him up!" Isi and Rogue were happy to oblige.

"Sheila, this isn't right!" Pryo shouted, but we ignored him.

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><p>"Rogue, you're going south." Isi pointed to the sign we just passed. "We're southbound. We need to be going in the opposite direction."<p>

"Wait… How long have we been going this way?" I asked apprehensively.

"For a while now." Isi stared at the sun. "A few hours at the least."

"Umm... Why are the signs changing to Spanish and English?"

"We're near the freaking Mexican border!" Addie banged her head on the seat. "We are idiots! We didn't even pay attention to the fact that we were going _in the wrong direction_! How did we miss the sign that said _Welcome to Texas_? We can't even read a stupid map right! I think we just failed as X-men."

"I'm so glad Warren had business in California. I'd never hear the end of it." Isi blushed. We all felt rather embarrassed that we hadn't figured it out before.

"Shoot! Border patrol!" Addie's eyes widened. "They're going to see–" She was cut off by the wail of sirens.

Addie swore. "We're dead!"

"Not yet, we're not!" Rogue took a sudden left into a corn field.

"What the–" Isi whipped her head around. "How the heck is there a cornfield so near the Texas-Mexico border?"

"Don't question! Just be grateful!" Rogue yelled over the engine, sirens, and the sound of corn beating on the car.

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><p>"I think we've lost them…" Isi leaned back in her chair, looking relieved.<p>

"Next time, we actually look at a map. I don't care if one of the voices in your head is Remy, who claims to know his way back."

"I second that." I said, closing my eyes.

I heard Isi mutter, "Southbound, _really_?"

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><p>We'd been traveling a few hours without issue, and were nearly our of Louisiana (despite Isi's protests, Remy's psyche did know a few good shortcuts).<p>

"Hey, Rouge." Addie called from the back. "I'm starved. Can we stop by McDonalds?"

"Sure thank." Rogue said.

"Wait." Isi had her stop the car. "Before we go into town, there's a bit of roadkill that we need to take care of."

When the car stopped, Isi popped open the trunk. She pulled out a tarp and covered Remy and Pyro, despite their very loud protests.

"Shut up, you two, or Rogue'll drain you." That shut Remy up, but Pyro refused to stop. "And you won't get the kid's meal toy." He was instantly quiet.

They, thankfully, didn't budge while we made our orders. I uncovered them when we got on the highway and handed Pyro his toy. He giggled like a four-year-old girl. I rolled my eyes and saw Addie do the same.

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><p>"Toll booth!" Rogue yelled. The rest of us had dozed off and woke up abruptly at the alarm.<p>

"Watsamatta?" Addie's voice was thick with sleep and her speech was very slurred.

I was also half-asleep, but I jolted into full consciousness when I heard Rogue shout, "It's ah toll booth! Ahnd Ah don't have tahme ta pull ovah. They ah goin' ta see tha guys."

Isi got a gleam in her eyes. "Well if we can't hide them, then we'll have a little fun with them instead." We were crawling at the moment, so Isi rolled down the window and hollered up the two strapped on the roof, "Hey! Suckers! We're trolling some humans, so play dead." I suppose they had forgiven us or the prospect of messing with someone's mind was too good to pass up. I couldn't see what they did, but the look we got from the toll people gave me a clue. We had an E-Z pass and as soon as we cleared the booth, we booked it out of there.

"Good job!" Isi punched the roof. "Did you see their faces?"

"We probably scarred them for life." Addie burst into a fit of giggles. Soon, we were a mess and Rogue pulled over for a moment to collect herself.

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><p>"Don't make a sound." Isi warned as we pulled the tarp over the roof. We had no choice but to pass through a town to get onto I-95. We were in Maryland and decided to go through the smallest-looking town that we passed by.<p>

"Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me." Isi groaned. I saw what caused her to grimace.

"Oh great." I beat my head on the seat in front of me.

"What?" Rogue asked, worried.

"See the sign?" It was a seafood joint, _Auntie Ruth's_. Next to the place hung a banner, offering half-off all crab legs.

Rogue glanced at it. "What about it?"

"Well, you see," Isi explained as we got closer. "Maryland policemen aren't as fond of doughnuts as other states' ones are."

"They instead prefer…" Isi paused for dramatic effect.

"Crab legs." Addie finished.

"Ah fahget y'all lived in Mar'lin." Rogue mused.

"Yeah." I nodded. "And they would congregate at any crab legs special they could find. Which means that _Auntie Ruth's_ will be swarming with them."

"Any cornfields nearby?" Addie joked.

We drove by carefully, but apparently our car had a big, neon, "trouble" sign on it.

"So close." I muttered as Rogue rolled down the window.

"Evenin' officah." Rogue said sweetly, her accent becoming even more pronounced. "Does theah seem ta beh ah prahblem?"

"You do realize that you were going 35 in a 20 mile speed zone?" He tried to act gruff, but I could smell his nervousness. A rookie, by the looks of it.

Rogue decided to go for the ditz approach. "Nah, ah did naht." She was good, pretending to gasp in shock. "Ah'm so sorreh, but mah gran's real ill."

"And them?" He jerked his thumb at us.

"Moral support." Isi put her hand on Rogue's shoulder. "Please officer, they said she doesn't have much time left." She made her eyes huge. "And if we could, you'd be my _hero_." She batted her eyelashes, milking it for every ounce it was worth.

"Well I suppose I could let you off this once…" He hesitated. "Special circumstances… Alright, but drive careful now."

"Thahnk yah, officah!" Rogue let her face light up like the fourth of July. We got out of there as fast as possible without alerting suspicion.

Addie and I burst into laughing. "Thank yah, officah?" I wasn't quite able to get Rogue's accent, but it was still close.

"Shut up." She glared at us.

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><p>"Yeah. Mhmm… ok… About an hour… Sure… Fine… See you then." Isi flipped her phone off and put it back in her pocket.<p>

"What did Ororo say?" I leaned forward.

"She says that they'll be waiting to greet us at the door, if our trip was ok, and if we could pick Warren up at Beverly."

"Sure." Rogue shrugged. Beverly was only ten minutes away.

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><p>We piled up Warren's luggage in the car and Isi turned in her seat to give him a peck on the lips. She grinned. "I've missed that."<p>

Addie chuckled. "Keep the romance on the DL for now. There are witnesses."

"So how was your trip?" Isi asked as we pulled onto the highway again.

"Fine." He said. "Dad was trying to convince me of getting the cure, I refused, and then he asked me to leave you and the X-men. The visit when downhill from there." Warren rolled his eyes. "The usual."

"Delightful man, your father." I joked. "Wait, what do you mean it _went_ downhill? I would think that it was at rock bottom from the beginning."

"He's about as delightful as the kick to his seat he deserves." Isi scoffed.

"Isi!" Addie scolded her.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow at her. "You know it's true."

* * *

><p>"So did you have a good time in New Orleans?" we were asked by Hank once we unpacked our clothing. "How was the car trip back?"<p>

The three other girls and I exchanged a look. "Yeah. It was great." we said in unison, trying to keep straight faces.

"The trip back was… fine." I decided less was more this time. "Nothing much."

"Care to explain why Remy and Pyro were on your roof?"

"No. Not really." We all laughed at Addie's blunt answer.

We then walked into the rec room, where Logan was tapping away at a laptop (I didn't know the Neanderthal could use one either, I thought he only used modern machines for torture). As we sat down, he asked us, "Care to explain what the hell you were doing on that trip?"

"No... Why?" I asked apprehensively.

"Because you're wanted by the border police." He showed us a printed-out flyer with a clear view of the X-men van and a bit of our faces (and a lot of Pyro's and Remy's). We groaned.

"I'm on it." Isi waved her hand as we all looked to her.

"What is she doing?" Logan didn't look very comfortable as Isi took his laptop.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Isi rolled her eyes. "I'm hacking into the police department. Someone has got to get rid of those photos."

"With you people, the insanity never ends." Addie collapsed on the couch.

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><p><strong>I hope you liked it. And as for Rogue pronouncing Maryland that way, it's true. Maryland (Mary-land) is often over enunciated or over slurred (Merlin is a common pronunciation) and so Mar'lin is not unheard of, especially for those of us with thicker twangs.<strong>


End file.
